This week’s issue of CREATURE FEATURE is brought to you by the fat innkeeper worm, which looks like a disembodied penis. Thousands of ‘em washed ashore on California beach earlier this week, and even the New York Post wrote about them because genitalia are intrinsically hilarious and humans like to see ourselves reflected in nature.
Sure, it looks like a dick. However, as naturalist Ivan Parr writes:
…the fat innkeeper is perfectly shaped for a life spent underground. Within a beach or mudflat, it digs a U-shaped burrow extending a few feet in length but no wider than the worm itself. The burrow’s front entrance pokes up like a little sand chimney. These can be seen clustered around the low tide line of a mudflat or sandy beach. The backdoor is marked by a pile of worm castings, which get projected out the end of the tunnel with a blast of water from the worm’s hindquarters.
I’d like to see a schlong do all that. Anyways, fat innkeeper worms (AKA penis fish) are far from the only sea creatures named after and strongly resembling a trouser snake. HOWEVER I did some digging and it is *not particularly easy* to find animals named after the vagina.* There is the Thetys vagina and the Trypauchen vagina and really, that’s about it. It’s almost like science… doesn’t think about the vagina much at all.
*The visible part is actually the vulva, she says, fruitlessly, for the umpteenth time.
Image: The fat innkeeper worm, Urechis caupo. Credit: kmontana/iNaturalist
Extra credit
Short-ish or newsy things I read this week:
Health officials say salmonella outbreak in six provinces linked to contact with snakes, rodents (The Canadian Press)
Plants may let out ultrasonic squeals when stressed (Smithsonian, Katherine Wu)
Drunken raccoon staggers through German Christmas market, passes out (DW, Chase Winter)
Keep kitty away from the tinsel: A vet's top tips for a pet-safe holiday season (CBC News, Bryan Eneas)
Octopus vs. Eagle: Scientists explain what was going on in rare animal interaction (CTV News, Jen St. Denis)
Longer or more involved things:
The deep sea (Neal Agarwal)
The celebrity tortoise breakup that rocked the world (Atlas Obscura, Cara Giaimo, from February)
Velvet (The Offing, William Fargason)
Latest examination recommends Lucy stay at Edmonton Zoo (Global News, Kirby Bourne)
I never considered myself an animal person. Books changed that (The Washington Post, Jared El-Osta)
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All images in CREATURE FEATURE are used under Creative Commons licensing. Efforts have been made to ensure that photographs of living animals or natural scenes have been taken ethically, in responsible pet ownership conditions, at AZA-accredited zoos and aquariums or under safe, non-damaging conditions in the wild. If you see an issue with any image we share, please notify me.